I’ve obtained the secret, no, the power of Red Lobster’s Cheddar Bay Biscuits.
Those Flakey, delicious, little pieces of heaven they give you as you wait for your meal. Years of reasearch and tourture led me to the recipie’s secret location. The Pentagon.
Deep in the earth under the pentagon, lies a secret vault who’s sole purpose is to secure the secret recipie.
I suited up and stormed the place. (Disguised as a Neo-Nazi Polar Bear yard decoration.)
It was a war zone! Billions of people were killed or injured. The world will never be the same. I’m the FBI’s most wanted man. There’s a reward of the moon for my return, dead or alive. That’s right THE MOON!!!
My mission was a success. I’ve acquired the power of the Cheddar Bay Biscuits and now on the run, off to another country to escape the horror that awaits me if I were to be caught.
You will find recipes on the internet saying there correct but they all fall short. I’ve tweaked all of the recipes and nailed the correct method for making greatness.
Now I know what god (or gods) must have felt like when he (they) created the heavens and earth., because I’ve created something greater.
Cheddar Bay Biscuits.
I recently (for some unknown reason) decided to upgrade my PC from windows XP to Vista. I had received a free copy and figured “what the hell.” So I gone done fuxked up. Upon my attempt to print out my resume I was upset to learn that not only was Microsoft Office gone, but my resume was gone as well. After nothing but problems with my computers and Zune mp3 player, I had enough. These are the emails back and forth between myself and Microsoft. (there are some fibs in there, but it was only to enhance my argument)
From myself>>>
Hello,
My computer came with windows xp when I purchased it (about a year ago) and it had word processor installed on the system. I recently upgraded to vista and lost all of the office programs and now it only has word pad, which is completely useless to me. How to I restore word processor and do I have to pay to get it back (even though I shouldn’t have to.)
Thank You
Justin
Microsoft’s reply>>>
Hello Justin,
Thank you for contacting Microsoft Customer Service.
I understand that you would like to know if you can restore Word processor on your upgraded Windows Vista based computer which was already installed in Windows XP.
I am sorry to inform you that you cannot restore Word processor on your upgraded Windows Vista computer. Once you upgrade your operating system, the data, files, applications loaded on your previous operating system will be wiped out.
If you are interested in product information, you may contact the Microsoft Sales Information (MSI) team via telephone at (800) 426-9400. Representatives are available from Monday through Friday, 6:00 A.M to 6:00 P.M, Pacific Time.
Justin, if you have further question, please write back to us.
Thank you,
Dharman
Microsoft Online Customer Service Representative
When I called the number above (which transfered me to India) they basically told me “fuck you, pay $600 for Microsoft office” My reply>>>>
(There are some fibs in the following section, just to stick a banana in Microsoft’s tailpipe (like Axle Foley). The $ is how much the programs that I lost were worth, not what I spent. The copy of Vista was free too!)
Hello,
It would have been nice to know that all of my files would have been lost by upgrading to vista. Now, besides for the $220 I paid for the Vista upgrade. I’ve lost over $1800 worth of programs, including Adobe Creative Suite. Being a graphic designer for a living, Adobe CS is basically my job. I just thank god that I had backed up all of my work related files on an external hard drive or I might be unemployed. This is the exact kind of crap that is making everybody switch from PC to Mac. Basically I paid $2000 to screw myself over and cause myself nothing but problems. For the $2000 I’ve lost I could have bought a Mac and been 100% happy with my purchase. I would have been better off just getting a pipe bomb and blowing my computer to a million pieces. The people at Microsoft really needs to get with the program because there making it very hard to stay loyal to PC’s.
Thanks
Microsoft’s Reply>>>>
We are sorry that your experience with our Microsoft Product was less than acceptable. I am forwarding your message to the appropriate group for further follow up.
Your feedback is very important to us. Microsoft is committed to customer satisfaction, and it is only with the help of our valued customers that we can achieve this goal.
Justin, please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you relating to this case.
I have been getting 10+ emails a day from wordpress asking to moderate new comments. All of them are spam comments. (I’m gonna approve all the spam email I get for this comment) Anywho I was getting annoyed with all of the emails and was ready to disable comments all together, until I checked my google analytics page. All the spam comments I get are driving my site visits thru the roof because these people have to visit the site to post them. I now support tons of spam comments, let er rip boys!!!
So I’m at the local food store by my job getting some chocolate milk when I stumbled upon this. >>>
I’ve googled that $hit and only found a company that makes flatware, but nothing to do with drinks, seeing how it was in the drink isle. I walked up and down the isle and read every package to see if there was any knork anywhere, with no luck. WTF?!? Please try to firgure out what this mystery of the universe is.
So many months ago I thought it would be fun to make a 2nd website Bigbagwebsite.com. I had completely forgotten about it until I got my Dreamhost news letter. (and I actually read this one) Me and Carlo worked on it for 1 night and then it was never seen again. In a couple of months I’m gonna let the membership run out and the site that never was will become the site that never was and never will be. Check it out before its gone. It really sucks cause like I said I worked on it for one night.
If anyone has any ideas where we can go with the site let me know before I take it out back and put it out of it’s misery.
You better get on the phone with the Guinness book of world records. I checked my google analytics page (which I haven’t checked since 2007) and was shocked when I saw my site statistics. I checked back as far as it would go (July 22, 2008) and almost doubled my record of hits in one day!! The previous record was a whopping 7 hits, but when i checked today I found out that on August 20th I hit a new personal best, 12 hits! Thats right 12 people went to my site in 1 day! I’m preparing myself for the flood of advertisers looking for ad space. I’m hot $hit compared to companies like google, yahoo, and ebay. I think they only get like 10 or 11 hits a day. (Bunch of losers) I would like to thank everyone for making my dreams a reality. Within the next couple of weeks I’d like to break 15 hits. I know it’s asking a lot but I think I can pull it off. Keep up the good work everyone!!
Here’s a little treat for all my fans >>>
(give it a click for the full size)
